literature

I Hope You Die! BTT x Reader

Deviation Actions

MyArmyOfPeeps's avatar
Published:
10.3K Views

Literature Text

I Hope You Die!
So maybe you were dared to sing this song. MAAAAAYBE- ok, you were. Your three best friends dated you to sing 'I Hope You Die' by the Bloodhound Gang... 
And dedicate it to the country of your choice. Oh, you had a nice little plan...
"...You must die I alone am best!
I hope ya flip some guy the bird,
He cuts you off and you're forced to swerve," 
You got cheers from the audience, you were grinning. You decided to have some fun, dancing across the stage.
"In front of England's tour bus,
A Bookmobile and America's truck,
Hauling hazardous biological waste,
The light turns red you have no brakes," 
More cheers and laughter, making you laugh yourself,
"And Japan gets it all on tape,
So you can see the look on your face," 
More laughter. You thought you could hear a 'Fusosososo' from the back.
"...Die Die Die Die Die Die Die!,
...Die Die Die Die Die Die Die!," 
People joined in with your chanting, making you smile.
"I hope your Pinto begins to spin,
Takes out a disabled German Veteran,
Mows down the entire Nordic 5,
And maybe Switzy having Christmas dinner," Switzerland merely scoffed, and Germany was too drunk to notice, but everyone else laughed.
"Perhaps even the British Royal Family,
And Poland clutching the bottle-fed pink puppy,
And we can't forget Russia's underlings,
And so basically you are as good as dead,"
A lot more laughter. You were damn good at this!
"I hope this helps to emphasize,
I hope this helps to clarify,
I hope you die,
I hope your cellmate thinks he's God,
But Romano refers to him as "Bowling Ball Bag Bob",
Serving time again for abuse of Asia,
Only this time the victim is South Korea,
While he masturbates to photos of Austria," You thought it appropriate to add "But really, who doesn't?" earning more laughter, and a very red Austrian.
"He does the "Silence of the Lambs" dance to 'Murican Rock,
Eats feces and quotes from "Deliverance",
And fights with his imaginary playmate Canada," This earned more chuckles, even though it threw you off beat.
"...Die Die Die Die Die Die Die!,
...Die Die Die Die Die Die Die!"
"I hope he grins like Russia grins,
And forces you to play a game called Balls On Chin,
And whatever happens next is all a blur,
But you remember "fist" can be a verb," 
'Kolkolkolkolkol' ok, so maybe you shouldn't have said that.
"And when you finally regain consciousness,
You're bound and gagged in a wedding dress (Probably France),
And the prison guard looks the other way,
'Cause he's the guy ya flipped the bird the other day,"
England was laughing so hard he spilt his tea.
"I hope this helps to emphasize,
I hope this helps to clarify,
I hope you die,
...I hope you die!"
You finished with an almighty bow, before saying;
"And of course this is dedicated to the people who made me sing it in the first place; Prussia, France, and Spain~" you said, walking off the stage. You collapsed next to Spain, and he wrapped an arm around your waist.
"That was very clever, chica." He complimented you. 
"I thought so." You said deviously.
"And Spain?" 
"Mmm?"
"I don't really want you two to die." 
"Two, chica?" 
"Yeah." 
"B-but... Chica!" 
"Mon ami, what is zhis!?"
"Ja frau, who do you vish to die?" 
"Honestly, guys?" 
"Si?"
"It was a joke."
"O-oh." 
Oh god. I had to.
I Hope You Die (c) Bloodhound Gang
I don't own Hetalia.
© 2013 - 2024 MyArmyOfPeeps
Comments30
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
KATIELOVESGOLDIE's avatar
This... Was the freaking best